


The Holovid List

by verybadhedgehog



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Soft Kylux, agency as a kink, canonverse, gentleness as a kink, secret porn habits of the finalizer staff and crew, soft erotica, the most forbidden forbidden soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-02 22:32:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12735636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verybadhedgehog/pseuds/verybadhedgehog
Summary: Never trust the IT department.Don't keep porn on a network server. Don't access porn on a network server.Your threat model probably didn't account for Kylo Ren.There might be worse threats to your integrity than getting found out.All this goes double if you wear two rank bands on your left wrist.





	The Holovid List

**Author's Note:**

> This originated in a twitter conversation between @Yulicia0 (stardestroyervigilance on tumblr), @tokyotheglaive and @stern3stars — about the idea of First Order officers and troopers secretly watching really soft porn with hand feeding and massage and tenderness and lots of explicit consent and self-agency.
> 
> How well I actually did what I set out to do is anyone's guess, particularly when the Hux/Ren schmoop & self denial set in.

Kylo Ren was not happy.

His console wasn’t working.

He wanted to take a look at some data relating to the last two battles — he felt that the assault groups could be more aggressive in their attacks. They were not making best use of their anger against the enablers of anarchy, and he felt that he should make sure that they did.

His console kept timing out when he went to access the files, and the screen had also developed an intermittent fault. He considered trying to fix it himself, but decided to call in a member of the IT staff. It was what they were there for. The First Order needed a working computer network and functioning desk consoles.

A man in support officer’s uniform arrived, quite promptly. He took over at the console, and began running some simple procedures. All things Kylo had checked, obviously, but he understood that things needed to be done this way.

As the IT officer worked, checking network data pathways, Ren observed him. He was in the habit of using his Force senses to see the things about people that they thought they were keeping hidden. He sensed almost immediately that the IT officer was hiding something. He would find out what.

He gathered himself and probed cautiously towards the man’s mind — he didn’t want to upset him, while he had the power of life and death over Ren’s console.

The man was hiding something. But it was not his _own_ something. He knew secrets — _other people’s secrets_. This should not be. It was Kylo’s role to find out secrets and to make the proper use of them. To have a person’s secret was to have power over them, and these men and women in the IT department did not need to have that sort of power over anyone, when they already had the power and responsibility of keeping the systems running.

“You will answer my questions.”

The sysadmin gulped and almost choked. “Sir. I mean, of course. I’ve done nothing… we’ve done nothing.”

“Quiet. You are hiding something, and I will get it out of you. You know that.”

The sysadmin cringed.

Kylo raised his hand to the man’s temple, and leaned closer. “You have information about people on this ship. Secrets that they don’t tell their superiors.”

“Yes. But…”

“You are using this information. For your own gain.”

“It’s not like that.”

“It is.”

The sysadmin whimpered again.

“Do you think,” Kylo growled, with menace, “do you think that the First Order approves of blackmail?”

“No sir,”

“Hmm. I could hurt you,” he said. “I could hurt you, but I won’t. The information you have should belong with a superior officer. It should belong with me.”

“As you say.”

The sysadmin let down some of his defences. Ren saw a list of files. Video files. He saw crew members watching holovideos, and a list, again.

“Videos,” Ren said. “Illicit ones, I take it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Tell me about that.”

“Some of the crew like to watch holovideos for personal entertainment, sir. And gratification. They pass them around on the data network. We know who accesses them.”

“We? How many of your section?”

“My… three of us.”

“Your what?”

“My line manager, sir, the deputy lead administrator. He keeps the list. The spreadsheet. I can access it, as can one other colleague.”

“Yes. I see now.” Kylo dropped his hand. “I am going to speak to the deputy lead administrator. And you are not going to speak about this conversation. To him, your other colleagues, or anyone. You are going to fix my console.”

“Sir! No, sir. Yes sir.”

“In your _own fucking time_ ,” Kylo muttered.

The sysadmin let out a shaky breath, and with shaky fingers, he prodded at the keys and addressed the command line.

Kylo went and stood by the viewport and waited. He had frightened the man enough, and the sooner the process was done, the better.

After a few minutes the officer alerted him that the job was finished, and invited him to double check that all was now satisfactory.

Kylo dismissed the man with a short, “You may go. Don’t talk.” The officer departed.

After, finally, accessing the files he needed and making notes on what he needed to discuss with Captain Phasma and General Hux, he got up and left his rooms. He tracked out a trajectory that led him down four decks and through a set of corridors, past officers and troopers and mouse droids, all of whom knew to step out of the way and show due respect.

He slammed the heel of his hand on the door control, announced himself, and strode through the door as soon as it slid open. 

The four IT officers present all looked startled. This was to be expected, Kylo supposed.

“Which one of you is the deputy lead administrator?”

A woman of about thirty five raised her hand. “I am the lead administrator. Warrant Officer Dorman, sir.”

“I asked,” Kylo said, with simmering menace, “for the _deputy_ lead administrator.”

Warrant Officer Dorman gulped and pointed to a younger man with a broad face and thick arched eyebrows. “That’s Chief Petty Officer Hengis, sir.”

“Hengis. I will speak with you. Regarding a security matter. Is there a private office?”

“Yes, sir. We can speak in the back room.”

The man, Hengis, showed Kylo into a room, and had the door closed behind him. His face had turned a lighter shade of brown, verging on the grey, and his eyes were round with terror.

“I know about the list,” Kylo said.

“The list,” Hengis said.

“You know what list.”

“The list,” the officer repeated. Kylo reached out and took hold of the outer part of his mind. “Ah! Don’t… don’t do that. The holovid list.”

“The holovid list.”

“Yes. Erm, we keep records of who views the holovids.”

“And you use the list for blackmail.”

“Potentially. If someone were to give us a hard time, we would be able to get them to back off.”

“You and your colleagues gain personally. Don’t lie.”

“Nothing big, it’s not a big thing. A few gifts here and there. nothing of big credit value.”

“Such. As.”

The officer opened a drawer. “Do you want a candy bar?”

“Illicit videos and illicit candy? You aren’t exactly making yourselves rich.” He took two candy bars and secreted them in an inner pocket. “Tell me about the illicit video files. I assume pornography but of course you could surprise and enlighten me.”

“It’s pornography. It _is_ pornography, sir.”

“Crew members have difficulties satisfying their urges without?”

“No, um, it’s more to do with preferences. Things different people want to see.”

“Perversions,” Kylo said. “Decadence.”

Chief Petty Officer Hengis squirmed as Kylo reached out a hand towards him.

“I’d classify it as mainly decadence, but, I mean, who’s to say…”

“How do they obtain the video files?”

“They’re stored on a server sir, usually used for backups. The network address is, uh, passed around. We can tell who is accessing the files, obviously.”

“Show me. I’m intrigued. To find out how our crew spend their down time.”

Hengis opened a screen.

He allowed Kylo to scroll through and read it. There were names arranged in alphabetical order, and Kylo was surprised to see Stormtrooper numbers among them. Lieutenant S Akvild, AV-4149, AV-7523, Petty Officer F Barnold, Petty Officer T Bonaki, Major M Brack.

“It goes throughout the ranks, I see.”

“Yes, sir.”

Kylo looked at the titles viewed, and the frequency of viewing.  Some viewings were frequent, but hardly obsessive. It was more usual for a shipman or Trooper to watch one of these holovids perhaps once or twice a week, or as infrequently as once every three or four weeks. 

“Not that you would be made aware, but do you believe there is any impediment to the dedication and work of the staff on your list?

“Not that I am aware of, sir,” said the deputy lead sysadmin.

“Interesting. Show me a full viewing record for this officer. Major Brack.”

The officer tapped at his screen and input pad, and brought up the net viewing data record for Major Brack. “You can see the titles and the dates and times there. Do you need anything more?”

“No, chief petty officer, that will not be necessary.” 

Kylo memorised the dates and times of this Major Brack’s viewings of illicit materials. He took an image capture with his helmet display for good measure.

He left Hengis in the back room and strode from the IT office without so much as a “that will be all.”

From there, he went to a secure workstation and logged in to personnel records, using his own high level clearance. Major Brack’s record showed no problems whatsoever over the time period where he had been viewing the material.

He would ask General Hux if anything was amiss.

 

***

 

“Hux.”

“Ren,” he said, with a turn of his head and an arched eyebrow, as if daring further engagement. As if he had the nerve.

“Are you busy?”

“I’m always busy.”

Kylo stepped closer. “It’s about your personnel.”

General Hux sighed tetchily. “Oh, alright. What is it, Ren?”

“I have names to discuss with you.”

Hux sighed again. “My office, then.”

The door to Hux’s office swished open, allowed the two men to enter, and swished shut again.

“So, who is causing you concern?”

“Have you any problems with the work and dedication of Petty Officer Barnold?”

“I don’t believe so. Do you want me to check?” He looked at Kylo as if half expecting him to say no. “Oh, _alright_ then.” He went to his secondary screen, looked up the officer’s work team records, and found nothing there amiss. “Work of a consistently high quality, never written up for anything other than one incidence of lateness. Her loyalty appears unimpeachable.”

“So I see.”

“Ren, where are you getting your information from?”

“Never mind. How about Major Brack.”

“Major Brack from 2nd Surface Assault Brigade?”

“That’s right.”

“Likewise. Leads a crew in a surface walker. Appears dedicated, seems well liked.”

“More detail,” Ren demanded. “Go one week back.” He sat on the desk and leaned towards the console for a better look.

“Alright, although what this fuss is about eludes me.” He checked. The whole of 2nd Surface Assault Brigade had been runnings drills of field maintenance of the big walkers. Brack’s crew had secured a passing grade. “I believe he and his crew are probably capable of slightly better, perhaps an 80% rather than a 70%, though I wouldn’t expect a superior to flag that with me as a problem.”

“I see. Good.” Kylo tilted his head, thinking. “And the troops? No problems there? Lateness, lack of drive, distractibility?”

“No patterns of which I’m aware. No uptick in reconditioning. You will of course ask Phasma for her full incident record.”

“Of course. Your words are reassuring to me.” He looked Hux up and down, and wondered what secret whims and desires hid behind his neat, tight facade. 

“Is there any reason why you suspect these particular officers?”

“None that seems relevant any longer, General.”

“Well I’m glad you feel able to come and bother me with matters of no relevance.”

Ren stayed put. Hux appeared slightly off balance. There was a light flush on his cheeks.

“I expect it gives you great satisfaction, to be on top of an organisation that runs so well,” Ren said.

Hux half smiled. “It does.”

There was _something_ going on with him, but Kylo couldn’t pin it down. It intrigued him.

“If there’s nothing else, I do have a ship to run.”

Ren leaned closer to him. “Of course General,” he said, before slipping off the desk and heading for the door.

“Any time, Ren. Any time.”

 

***

 

Kylo took another look at the file, and searched it for any high-ranking names he recognised. No result for the first three. A hit for Colonel Rossi. Interesting. There was something odd about Rossi, and here might be a chance to find out what it was. 

He located the master folder of illicit holovids on the network, and chose a title from Colonel Rossi’s viewing list. He pulled out one of the candy bars from the IT dept’s ill-gotten stash, and took a bite, then set the holovid to play. 

A man and a woman sat side by side on a sofa, in front of  a spread of luxury food, the like of which no officer brought up on the exile starships would ever have seen. The couple tried various morsels, commenting on how delicious they were and noting which were each other’s favourite. They poured each other drinks and hand fed each other. It was the sort of thing that The First Order ought to see as wasteful, pointless.

Just as Kylo was beginning to wonder whether vicarious gastronomy was Colonel Rossi’s sole and guiding vice, the couple on screen began to paw at each other, and eventually engaged in some fairly tame sexual congress. 

But then, on a whim, Kylo did another search, and his interest in Rossi’s activities paled away. _General Hux was on the list_. Hux _himself_. No wonder he had seemed a little off kilter when questioned. He had something to hide. Kylo didn’t put it past Hux to have gained access to the list himself. Read-only, though, otherwise he’d surely have deleted his own record. And wouldn’t _that_ be killing him.

He selected a holovid from Hux’s own viewing list. 

Two young men in civilian dress sat in the back of a land speeder. One had his arm around the other. They engaged in inconsequential conversation. One kissed the other on the cheek, upon which they turned their faces together and began to kiss in earnest, pausing only to exchange terms of affection. It was all perfectly pleasant, though not the sort of thing First Order personnel ought to be spending their time watching.

Usually, Kylo thought, in this sort of material the main event would have begun by now. Impatient, he fast forwarded through a lot of kissing and got to the part where the two young men were partially undressing. The shorter and lighter complexioned of the two rather politely, verging on coyly, asked to suck his companion’s dick. Permission granted, he gave an enthusiastic blow job, cradling his partner’s balls in one palm while he took him deep in his mouth, making eager greedy noises that put the tame gourmands of the first holovid to shame.

Kylo kept both hands on the desk. It would not do to respond to the images. He was here to research and investigate, not to indulge himself. 

In any case, duty called. The Supreme Leader had a message for him. He would respond, and present himself to carry it whatever task was needed, or whatever challenge was presented. By the Supreme Leader’s training and guidance he was becoming ever stronger.

 

***

 

Ren found himself in discussion with General Hux, after second shift had ended. The conversation had turned, and not by chance, to the role of self-denial in group cohesion and discipline. There was something in Hux that wanted to unburden itself, he felt. He would lure it out into the open, see it, know it.

“There are things,” Hux said, “which are forbidden to all of us, which we can’t, in the normal course of things, have.”

“That’s right. Indulgences.”

“Do _you_ ever feel a moment’s fascination for those things? That you would want to reach out and grasp them?”

“I try to keep to my spiritual path.”

“Of course.”

Kylo thought for a moment. “But at the same time, to take and to have — what is better?”

“Indeed,” Hux said, and he looked once again to be something approaching flustered.

“So you want something,” Ren said.  “Something we can’t, in the normal course of things, have.”

Hux breathed in and out,  then shifted his gaze away. “Our roles define us, obviously.”

“We are who and what we are.” He glanced at Hux, saw again that elusive something, the thing that was always hiding but was now flirting with exposure. It excited him. Would he catch it, pin it down?

“But if, temporarily, we could step outside that.”

“Temporarily.”

“And so if we’re not being ourselves,” Hux said. “Just, temporarily, of course.”

“Those norms might not apply.” Kylo smiled. “You’d like to step outside your norms. Temporarily. Sate your hungers.”

“Yes,” Hux said. His cheeks were flushed. 

“You’d like me to be involved in that.”

Hux swallowed. “Yes. Look. Come to my rooms. At 20.00, if you’re free then.”

“I am.”

Hux leant in and kissed him. A gentle peck on the cheek. He was clearly excited, buzzing with it, and his blush had flourished.

“I’ll see you then, Ren.”

Kylo nodded, swallowed, and replaced his helmet before turning and leaving.

 

***

 

It was nearly time for the appointment, and he hadn’t had the chance to view more of the holovids. All he knew was that Hux apparently liked a great deal of preamble before getting down to business. And could it be that the clipped, mean, straight-backed officer enjoyed the tenderness that had been on display? Or had he merely been attracted by the kissing and cock sucking? Kylo knew he really ought to have watched more of the holovids, to gain a better appreciation of the situation. 

He also knew that he wasn’t currently headed to the General’s quarters purely out of curiosity. 

 

***

 

Upon receiving Kylo, Hux immediately dismissed his droid. He looked excited, and a little nervous, but there was something else different about him, something that Kylo didn’t usually get to see. Something softer.

“I expect you’re tired,” Hux said. “After a long day.”

“I suppose I am.”

“Sit down with me.” Hux sat on his couch, and Kylo joined him.

“You do work hard,” Hux said. “These clever hands.” He took Kylo’s hand and massaged it gently, through his glove. 

Kylo pulled the gloves off. It seemed wrong to muffle the sensation.

“Here,” Hux said, and took Kylo’s right hand in both of his own. “Is that nice?” He rubbed at the base of Kylo’s thumb, and massaged over his hand, between his knuckles. It did feel rather good. 

“Yes. It is.”

He returned the favour, taking Hux’s slender fingers and rolling each one between his fingertips.

Hux took his hand and raised it to his lips, making eye contact briefly before kissing the back of it. His lips were particularly soft, perhaps even softer than they looked. 

Kylo drew himself closer to him, eyes fixed on that mouth.

“Kiss me, then,” Hux said with a shy smile. Not what Kylo had ever expected of him at all. He leant forward, into the kiss. 

 _“If we aren’t being ourselves,”_ Hux had said, and whoever _this_ was had a soft mouth and soft hands and kissed him so sweetly. The taste of lips and tongue was intoxicating, and everything moved so slow, in a way it hadn’t since he was a young teenage boy having his first kiss.

Hux’s hands laced into his hair, the touch gentle and lovely. “This is all just for us,” Hux whispered.

“Yes. Just for us,” Kylo repeated. Here he was, a Knight of Ren, reduced to repeating this inconceivable nonsense, and _liking_ it.

“A secret.”

He held Hux’s slender body close to him, and its secrets with it. He was so thin under his uniform — Kylo could feel the tiny waist under his palms. This thin, physically insubstantial man with his padded shoulders who normally projected the most off-putting aura was now in his arms, muttering sweet nothings. 

It _did_ feel exciting. Forbidden.

He lay back on the couch, and the kissing continued. Hux was lying on top of him now, kissing him and stroking his hair. He could like this, temporarily.

Slim fingers hooked around the top of his leather collar. “How do we get this off you,” Hux murmured.

“I’ll show you,” he said. He held his hair out of the way with one hand, and showed how the fastening worked. It seemed quite justified to continue, to unfasten his outer layer, since he was quite warm under his clothes.

Hux took off his uniform jacket. He really was narrow and slim underneath it, with sloping shoulders giving way to skinny soft-skinned little arms. Kylo didn’t dislike it. Not at all. He took him back carefully into his arms, aimed a kiss for his forehead and hit an eyebrow instead. “Sorry.”

“That’s alright.” Hux nestled closer to him, and he relished in the sensation of another body pressed up against his. He could feel him, as their legs overlapped. He could feel him, hard, nudging and shifting against him as they kissed. Little movements of his hips. Gaining pleasure.

His hands slid over Hux’s back, fingers splayed, down over his buttocks. And how soft and yielding they were. His fingertips sunk into the cushiony flesh.

They weren’t ready to lock eyes together, even as they weren’t being themselves. Instead Hux hid from him, tucking under the line of his jaw. Hux kissed him there, and sucked on his skin, teeth pressing and nibbling, kissing and biting along his jaw and down the side of his neck. Kylo sighed and panted — it was exquisite, delicious.

“Shall we stay out here, or would you prefer to go to bed?”

“Why don’t you take me to bed.”

Hux sat back on his heels, and looked down on Kylo. He had that glowing, hungry look about him, his pale eyes gleaming and his cheeks pink. He stood, took Kylo by the hand and led him into the bedroom.

They finished undressing quietly and efficiently. Kylo felt Hux’s eyes on him, admiring him, sneaking glances at his body. It was undeniably good to be desired. Without ceremony, then, they got into bed. Holding one another skin to skin, feeling each other’s warmth and the quick flashing pulses of the Force everywhere they touched — Kylo supposed Hux wouldn’t feel the last of those, and he felt sorry for him, as he gathered him yet closer. The bedcover hid them, cut them off further from the outside world, making everything easier.

“So, can I touch you?” It seemed right to ask like this.

“Yes. Please.”

And so he slid his hand down to the junction of Hux’s thighs, and took hold. Hux closed his eyes and gasped. Then, Slender fingers closed around his cock and began stroking him. Long and slow at first. 

Here, the aim was pleasure alone. At least temporarily.

“I never had anyone to do this with,” Hux whispered. Or, rather, whoever it was that Hux was being at this point. It didn’t matter, really. They were going to get each other off, their warm bodies close together in this hidden place of a bed.

He wanted it, whatever it was they were doing. And he wondered how they’d never done this before, never wanted to do it before. Such a loss, when they felt so good next to each other.

His dick was wet and leaking onto Hux’s palm. Nothing the Force could offer was quite comparable to this. He’d never dared imagine the little noises Hux made as he approached his orgasm. Sighs, and moans, and whimpers, and then a tensing of the body and a tipping back of the head.

Once finished, they lay, panting and sweaty, for just a short moment. 

It was already done, whatever it was.

Hux went into his refresher compartment and washed his hands. Kylo awaited his turn.

Once Hux had pulled on his lounging robe and tied its belt, he seemed once again more like his formal self. Kylo finished getting dressed, moving through to the main room to collect the final pieces.

“So,” Hux said. “Thank you for that.”

“Yes. And you.”

And he left, taking a swift enough step to his own rooms that he might hopefully outrun his own judgement.

 

***

 

He watched another of the holovids, that had been watched by several of the officers — all men who liked men.

A soft and tender scenario between two men of about his own age. This time he didn’t fast forward through the preamble. The scene was quite different for that which he’d imagined from the title. The scenario seemed to be that one man had returned home after a long shift at work, and his companion was welcoming him home, with loving touches and caring words. Caring words not too dissimilar to the ones Hux had used.

The realisation came, late and unannounced. It was so obvious. This fantasy of tenderness was just another common fantasy. Hux was merely playing a part, emulating what he had seen in the holovids he’d watched. Kylo had surely known from the start that this is exactly what it was, so why, he asked himself, did he feel it as such a betrayal. He had been drawn into this, further than he had intended to go. His emotions had led him down a foolish path. He knew that it had just been fantasy, but he had allowed himself to be tempted. He would not be so foolish again.

He avoided Hux. Pointedly so. He went to the bridge as usual, but did not linger long, and did not address Hux directly. He shut himself away in a training room and practised the disciplines of the mind and the body. One training droid was sacrificed to his discomfort and dissatisfaction. 

He decided to seek out one or two people from the list, in order to find out more of what this fantasy was all about. He would interrogate them quickly, and pass them to reconditioning if necessary. If at all possible he would erase the memory of the interrogation itself from their minds — he believed he had the skill to do this without leaving too many loose ends. It would be too risky to attempt this with Colonel Rossi, who was too high ranking and led too large a battle group. He’d have relished eating the other IT department candy bar in front of the food-obsessed Rossi, but in this circumstance, beggars could not be choosers.

So, Major Brack was ordered to report, and report he did.

Kylo ordered him into the chair, and locked the restraints at wrist and ankle.

“I know about the holovids.”

Brack swallowed and nodded.

“You’re not stupid enough to deny it.”

“No.”

“Good. You’ll answer my questions.”

“Yes.”

“What do you like about these holos?”

“It’s, er, it’s just fantasy.”

“I know what it _is_. You’re going to tell me what about it appeals to you.”

Brack shuddered.

“Is it the decadence? Soft surroundings, rich foods, steam baths?”

“Yes. That does appeal. It’s a contrast. With everyday life. Not that I don’t like everyday life.”

“You’re babbling. I don’t care to hear justifications or excuses.”

Kylo reached into the major’s head. He saw the man sitting in his quarters, watching one of the holovids. He detected a spike of satisfaction.

“You like the way they talk to each other. They’re so… polite.”

“They… respect one another. That’s important, isn’t it?”

“Of course. But it’s not just that, is it? It’s the choices.”

“Yes. They choose things.”

Kylo looked again at the man’s mind. “And they make decisions, about what they’re going to do.”

“Yes.”

“The choices the First Order gives you are not enough, then?”

“It’s… no, it's not that. I’m loyal. You can test me. it’s just something we look at from time to time. It makes everyday life go easier, I suppose.”

“What else? It’s the softness, not just the decadence, but the softness.”

“Yes.”

“Tenderness.”

“Yes.”

Kylo stood and looked at the man, grateful for his helmet that hid his face. Tenderness. That was it. And that was what was appealing to Hux, wasn’t it? Tenderness. A terrible weakness and a terrible temptation.

“This session is over, Major Brack. You will stay in position and relax as much as possible. I am going to erase the memory of the session, and suggest to you that I have questioned you about something related to your subordinates, and that your answers to me were satisfactory. Do not move until I tell you to. Understood?”

“Understood.”

Kylo took a breath, and worked as efficiently as he could. A drop of sweat worked its way down inside his leather collar. And it was done. He was as confident as he could be that this officer could be returned to  2nd Surface Assault Brigade in fine working order.

“The session is over, Major Brack. I am satisfied with your answers to me.”

“Yes sir, Thank you sir.”

Kylo loosened his bonds.

“You may go. No further action.”

Brack stood, hurriedly saluted, and scurried away.

 

***

 

Kylo did not like the feeling of having been tempted, but at the same time he envied and hated the characters in the holovids for their choices, their rich and horrible embarrassment of choices. Food and activities and long sessions of kissing and back massages and quiet gentle times together. All these awful tempting things he shouldn't want.

Late on the second day, he watched all the holovids on Hux’s viewing list, from taxi-speeder blowjobs through rich dinners to couples (men, always men, Kylo had got that part right at least) being gentle and kind with each other. It was not only decadent and forbidden but strangely touching. And he could only surmise that Hux had similar motivations to that odd little Major Brack. Tenderness and softness were the forbidden fruit he craved. He thought back to Hux’s words — _“things which we can’t, in the normal course of things, have”_ — and what he’d said while they were in bed — _“I never had anyone to do this with.”_

In his own heart, he felt a lack, something that longed to be satisfied — and a hunger for pride too. He could give Hux what he wanted, what nobody else could give him, and feel proud of that.

He stopped himself. How could he be wanting to go back into the very folly he’d resolved to avoid? He needed to meditate, to seek answers.

He sat on the floor of his main room, and gathered the Force around him.

Neither the Dark side of the Force nor the Light had conclusive answers for him. Both told him to do it, and also not to do it. He was caught between thoughts, yet again.

He wanted it. He wanted a stolen moment, a secret. And what did it matter. He had something to give Hux. There were things they wanted, together. Things they would have.

 

***

 

“We should meet again.”

“Oh? I rather thought you’d been put off for good,” Hux said, only the faintest cracks apparent in his tight veneer of snippiness.

“Tell me when.”

“I have first and third today. So, part way through second? 1400h? Or after third?”

“1400h.”

 

***

 

And so they met again. Hux was wearing his long lounging robe, and he must have just showered, as his hair was without its customary pomade and hung loose around his face. He looked undeniably lovely. 

Kylo embraced him. “You look good. Rather fine.”

“Thank you.”

“Is this what you wear to relax?”

“Yes, it is.”

He ran a hand down a sleeve, feeling the soft fabric and Hux’s slender arm beneath. “It's soft. Is it comfortable?”

“It is.”

Hux kissed him again.

This was the arrogant, petty General Hux who caused him so much strife and annoyance. Pressed against him, softly kissing his mouth.

“You were ignoring me.”

“I had other things to consider.” 

“No, you were ignoring me. Specifically and particularly.”

“I had to think.”

“And? The fruit of your thoughts?”

“I’m here. That’s the fruit of my thoughts.”

“Then I’m glad. I was starting to believe you’d had regrets.”

“I did. Briefly. But I considered, and learned.” He held him close. “We enjoy this.”

Hux twined his arms behind Kylo’s neck. “We do.”

“Then we can have it. Just the way you want it.”

He wanted to say something about the holos, something about being able to have it just like in the holos, but he didn’t want to risk breaking the spell. They already were doing it just like in the holos. They were already trapped like flies to the sticky honey something of tenderness.

It was best to go with it. To do what he would want to do in a situation like this.

“I would like,” he said, “to pick you up and carry you in my arms to your bed.”

“I’d like that too.” Hux tightened his arms around Kylo as he scooped him up. “Ren!” he cried, then laughed. “Oh, this is rather nice, in fact.”

Kylo took a few steps forward. 

“Don’t drop me will you,” he teased.

“Of course not. You’re my precious cargo.”

Hux laughed. “Listen to you!”

Ren put him down on the bed, sat beside him, and stroked his hair. “You are precious. Delicate. Lovely.”

“Kylo.”

“My precious secret.”

Hux lay back and let his robe fall open a little. One small pink nipple was exposed. It was a target, calling to Kylo, but he held back from diving in and devouring it. Instead, he slipped his hand underneath the robe and stroked Hux’s skin gently, all the time kissing him slow and long. Just the way he liked.

The thrill of being gentle was powerful.  He caressed Hux’s skin with the lightest fingertip touch, tracing lines all down his side. He kissed then, and found his way to the delicate peak of a nipple. He licked it. Hux yelped.

“More?”

“Yes. More. Please.”

Kylo licked and teased, feeling it harden more under his tongue and hearing Hux’s pants and gasps, relishing them.

“Do you want me?”

“Yes. So much.”

Hux watched him undress.

“Do you have…”

“Of course. I prepared for the operation.” Hux pulled open a side drawer and waved a bottle of personal lubricant at Ren. It was fancier stuff than the medical-grade gel that everyone pretended was never used by First Order personnel for sexual purposes.

“Of course you did.”

“Come here, Ren. No, closer.”

He did. Hux opened his thighs. “I already partly prepared, before you got here. Put your hand there,” Hux said, softly and gently just beside Kylo’s ear, and then he nibbled Kylo’s earlobe, sending a hot wave of arousal through him.  

Kylo slid his hand between Hux’s thighs, up under his balls, between his soft buttocks, which already felt damp and slick. His fingertips slipped over his hole, still wet and slippery and ready to open for him. With only the lightest pressure, a finger slid in. He felt Hux’s breathy moan against his neck as much as he heard it.

“I want you.”

“You feel so good inside. I’ll get you more wet.”

The lubricant was thick and silky-feeling, and Kylo’s fingers went inside so easily. He kissed Hux again, sliding tongues together at the same time his fingers were sliding into the lovely hot silk of Hux’s ass.

“I’m going to fuck you.”

“Yes. I want it. Want your cock.”

Kylo was hard and willing and ready to give.

Hux shifted himself under Kylo, tilted his hips and spread his legs wide. He was seemingly extremely flexible, and Kylo wondered how he’d never imagined this before.

He got himself wet and moved into position, holding himself up by one arm. Hux groaned in pleasure as he slid in.

Kylo fucked him slowly with long strokes. He wanted to hear those noises, to know that he was the one bringing them out of the Finalizer’s clever, upright, correct General. Hux obliged him, and soon he was joining in with throaty little grunts.

Hux gripped onto his own ankles to spread his legs wider, and Kylo struck him deep inside, making him cry out a few times before tucking his legs around Kylo’s back, holding tight onto him.

Kylo had a thought that was barely a thought, and pleasure had him so tightly he couldn’t have stopped himself.

“Armitage,” he said. “Armitage.”

“Kylo. Yes. Please.”

“Armitage, you feel so good.”

Hux’s breathing was ragged.

“You’re so beautiful.” He was getting closer to the edge. “Touch yourself. If you want. Make yourself come.”

“It won’t take much,” Hux said, breathless, and Kylo felt him jerk himself rapidly against his stomach.

“Come for me, my sweet. I want you to.”

Hux’s breath stopped entirely for a few seconds before he cried out in relief. Kylo kept pushing, harder and faster, and then everything was blank and there was nothing but pleasure. The Force held him still and flowed through him, and left him breathing hard against Hux’s shoulder, sliding out of him, collapsing onto the bed.

 

***

 

“I had to look,” Kylo said. “I had to look at the holovids.”

“That’s what you were doing while you were avoiding me?”

“I had to decide what to do.”

“Were you deciding whether to report me to a committee of my peers? You didn’t ask Snoke’s advice, did you?”

“No! Give me some credit.”

“So what was it?”

“I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Knowing it was pure fantasy, but knowing we’d done it all the same.”

“I suppose I can see that. When did you find out about them? I mean, I knew you knew but I didn’t know how much you knew.”

“I found out a few days ago, from IT.”

“What?” Hux was clearly startled.

“No, I sensed something from an IT officer, with the Force. That led me to the list.”

“So it didn’t leak?”

“It didn’t leak.”

“Well, that’s not so bad.” Hux sighed a long calming sigh. “I assume you found out and made preliminary enquiries, saw that I liked what you liked and thought you’d fancy a bit of a go with, well, with me.”

“More or less. Except… except I only actually saw half of one of the videos you’d watched. I wasn’t sure what you liked. I took it by instinct.”

“Oh. Well done you, in that case.”

“Which is why, when I saw… I thought I might have made a mistake.”

“And now you don’t"

“We both like it. You have needs. I know, I feel them there. If I can make you feel good.”

“I think you’ve demonstrated that you can.”

Kylo smiled. “Then I’m pleased. It doesn’t go outside of here,” he said, meaning the room, meaning the play-acting.

“No, of course not. It doesn’t affect anything else. We are who we are and all that remains the same.”

“And anything we say — it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“No,” Hux said, and patted Kylo’s knee. “You’d best make a move if I’m going to be ready for third shift. Hells alone knows what your schedule is supposed to be and if anyone might miss you.”

Kylo reluctantly got up. “Do you want anything done about those other names on the list?”

“We’ll discuss it,” Hux said, quickly putting on his underwear and shirt.

“I assume you want your name taking off the list?”

“That would be ideal” A quick smile flashed across his face. “We’ll pay them a visit together. That’ll put the shit right up them. I’ll arrange a time with you.”

 

***

 

Kylo could feel more secrets, hidden below the surface. They were Hux’s secrets, and he was, perhaps, going to find a way of coaxing them out.  Precious. Lovely. Delicate. Armitage.

If he was very careful he might be able to manage without dislodging too much of his own secrets and buried longings. If he was very careful.

 

***

 

“Ren?”

“General.”

“In the office.”

Kylo followed him.

“Ren. I know now why you were raising various names with me last week. But something’s come up.”

“Oh. Tell me.”

“2nd Ground Assault Brigade, Ren. They’ve just reported Major Brack booked into med bay with unexplained memory losses. There’s little they can do for him, apparently, except for voluntary reconditioning; and they’re not confident that will help.”

“And?”

“Just occurred to me to ask you if you know anything about this?”

“Not at all,” he lied.


End file.
